Unconditional

I have been homeschooling for a few weeks now, and I am quickly discovering (at this point at least) that this homeschooling program has much more to do with MY education, than that of my children. It has brought to light many of my weakness', and I am seeing my kids grow, as I do. One of the main philosophies is unconditional love, at first I thought, "got that one down ( I almost skipped the chapter)". But, to my surprise this is by far one of my biggest challenges. In their terms unconditional love is accepting a person as they are right now. Seeing through the "behavior", and loving the reasons for the behavior. And, most importantly not wanting your child to be any different than they are right now. That is not to say, they will not grow and change of course, but this full acceptance thing really stuck in my gut. I am not very good at this. Ever since I learned of the "A" word, I have been waiting for Cotton to change. To talk, or be like all the other kids. This attitude has been a disservice to both of us. I have been trying to approach things differently, not trying to make him do things, rather to enjoy the process. This has not made much since to me until now. Even now, I am only beginning to grasp the concept. I was watching him stack his blocks,(a stim mostly) over, and over again the same blocks, the same order... usually this would annoy me. But this time I tried to see, how much Cotton loves order, and how much like me this trait is, I feel like I saw him more clearly than I have in a long time. The mood at the house is light and lazy, we are really enjoying our "free" summer. Cotton continues to use more signs daily, with out prompting for real communication. I am taking my time though. Absorbing what I have to learn and letting it soak in before I can say I am a successful homeschooler, this is a process I can see, I have a lot to learn.