Happy Birthday!

UUGGG, what a birthday! Cotton turned 4, and he and I got the stomach flu. So, well, not the best birthday ever, but.... he turned 4 all the same. Luckily we celebrated 2 weekends ago when the grandparents were up! Over all we have had a wonderful week! Cotton has taken some major steps in stage 3. He is starting to initiate like crazy. He wanted to take turns going down the slide..er... the toddler slide. So, yup you guessed it, I got my happy bum, up that slide, and well got stuck, which was good for uncertainty. It was so easy this week. I did not have to plan one activity! He just kept including me in what he was doing! The good weather has really helped. My little baby is such a big boy!

The Good Night Kiss

Gimmie and Papa (a.k.a grandma, and grandpa) were up for a visit this weekend. We had a great time, and they were so impressed with Cotton's progress, and Mr. Chiefs affinity for mischief.

When it was time for Cotton to turn in, I gave the obligatory command, "say good night to Gimmie and Papa", (something I would not normally do, but I wanted to at least acknowledge them as I put him to bed.) I could not believe my eyes, when he pulled my father down and kissed him on the cheek, and did the same to my mom. I just sat there with my jaw hanging open, I was not aware that he even knew what I was saying, much less initiating a good night kiss. I have to say I was beyond shocked!

That kid continues to surprise me everyday!

Poo Poo in the Potty!

Yeah! What a great day. First exciting news, Cotton pooped on the toilet. So huge for my little guy. He has been peeing on the toilet for about 6 mo. now and tonight voila! He even said "poo poo" (again very exciting!)

Second, I took the boys out for dinner (alone, very brave). So there I was with 3 drinks a stroller, and I needed a high chair. Unsure of what to do next I casually said "here Cotton push this". He grabbed the highchair and rolled it with me to the table! We had a long way to navigate, and he didn't hit one person. Lots of very natural coordination.

OK, so on to what we are doing this week. Well he is very into humming (like many of our kids), so I am humming a tune, and then he copies me. Then we switch, he hums and I copy him. I make sure to highlight the my turn your turn. Also, a great little tip from my consultant. We lay facing each other on the couch (feet to feet). I push his feet back, and then he pushes my feet back. A more advanced version is to "bicycle" your legs together.

The beaver lied!!

Is it me, or is this winter especially ccccold. I am so sick of snow, if I have to shovel the driveway one more time, well... I am going to pout. The kids are going NUTS! We need to be outside, to run, and jump, and roll. We went to Super Target last night just to give them some running room. I know, I know, a good RDI mom would be out there building snow men and snow angels. But did I mention it was cold?:-)

Balancing act!

Geez, my life gets so consumed with therapies and autism I am always looking for ways to balance! Especially when it comes to Mr. Chief. We have our special time just like Cotton and I do. I really try to make it a point, and even though he is probably too young to understand I try to make a big deal of it.

I look forward to the day that Mr. Chief will be an integral part of our RDI program. But for now he just wants to take over. He loves to watch though, and I involve him as much as I can. He wants so much to join in. He is a good little brother. If those two ever stop trying to kill each other, they will probably be the best of friends. (a mother can hope)

Sexy mama!

He He, You RDI moms will really appreciate this. I had an adjuster over to take a look at a small leak in my master bedroom. As he was inspecting the leak, he started acting very odd. He was trying to keep from laughing, and turning very red. I looked around and realized I had the camera set up pointing at the bed, for a bed jumping activity Cotton and I did last night.
I turned ten shades of red. I said "Oh, that is not what it looks like." He was so embarrassed and I was mortified. Now I think I am going to hide while this man fixes the leak. AKGH

In the begining....

I have put off this post for a while. Partly because it is a very difficult time to remember. When Cotton was born, I knew in my gut that something was off. He had a hard time focusing and looking at me. I was scared to death that it was autism. When he was 12mo. I knew something was wrong. No longer able to be in denial, I started the journey to find out what it was.

When we discovered Cotton's albinism at 14mo. I was thrilled! He was visually impaired! That is why he is so delayed. I can handle this... you see in my mind it was far better than autism. So we started EI and the therapist came to my house reassuring me everyday that he was not autistic. One even brought me to the autism classroom and said "see he is not one of these kids" (gasp, I know).

But as time went by and my son continued to fall behind, I knew in my heart that it was more. I pushed and pushed for an evaluation, I got one, and the Doctor said come back in 6mo. We did and he was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, a catch all that in my opinion means your child is autistic and I am breaking the news gently. I thought okay, high functioning autism we can do this. I thought surely he will speak again any day now (he had four words at 13mo.). The last time I heard the word "mama" was on Mother's Day, 2004. I remember thinking "he hasn't said that in a while, so nice to hear." He never said it again.

When I hear someone introduce their ASD child as high functioning, I want to vomit. If there is a HFA, well then that insinuates, that there is a low functioning ASD. I refuse to label Cotton as either, he has skills all over the board. However, indistinguishable he is not. We have tried it all. We had a VBA program 40 hrs a week from 19mo. until 3yrs. We were GFCF/SF/Corn F, among other F's. We have worked everyday of his life to get him to the highest level of "functioning" possible.

I still pray,beg, demand, and throw numerous tantrums, for verbal communication. Cotton did not even start trying to say words until we started RDI, and his non verbal communication, is coming along nicely. I can not imagine never having a conversation with him. I hope, I do not have to.

I got my news letter for the Connection Center discussing previewing ahead. I just can't. I can not imagine a future with no words. It hurts too much to imagine it, or especially to write it down, because what if that year passes, and we still have no words.

So that is a summary of how we learned of Cotton's special needs. I have left a bit out, I am sure I will fill in the gaps in posts to come. So looking ahead to me means 1 day at a time. It is all I really can handle.

Why RDI?

[disclaimer: this is what works for my son, if something else works for yours great!]

After a year and a half of ABA, I looked at my son, at his progress, at the parade of people coming in and out of my house, and said something has GOT to change. After a year and a half of everyone telling me what my son needed, I decided I would be the judge of that. In Feb. of last year we started this journey. After my main in home ABA therapist went to work at Cotton's school, I decided to take a break. That is when I started researching RDI. I looooved the idea of less. I love the idea that I could parent my child again. I was so excited to enter a world, where there were no prompts, and the interactions were real and spontaneous. I could not imagine a world 6 months ago, where my son would voluntarily look at me, much less crane his head around to see our reaction. RDI is about teaching your child how to be participant in a relationships. The very fabric of what it is to lead a fulfilling life. He is growing everyday, and so am I.

School.

School has become a huge obstacle for us. However, it is a necessity right now while my husband is deployed. I do not think I would be the best parent if I was to be on mommy duty 24/7. However, when we move this summer, I am going to try homeschooling. So I am knee deep in homeschooling curriculum. I just have no idea what to do. RDI will be our main focus, but I really want a loose curriculum to follow. It will help me feel more competent. I really like Five in a Row, but I would have to modify it to his needs. His receptive language delay is a tough obstacle. So far it is my favorite, and will be very easy to include Mr. Chief.
So on to what is working this week cont. stage 3 (and holding)!

We stand facing each other and I say lets touch........ ears, and then we touch our ears, nose, bellies etc. together. Cotton loves this game. I always reserve one round for him to decide what we touch. I will say, "lets touch...... hmmmm, I don't know, hmmm..... (I try to keep language to a minimum.)

Songs have been a big hit this week. "The A says.......... and Cotton replies "aaa." Or "the wheels on the bus"'....... he does the hand coordination, and I sing the action.

We have also been dancing to songs this week. Lots of actions and our favorite is jumping in a circle with out holding hands. This requires a lot of coordination.